music in my life

2008-01-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

So many things happened within these few mths. haven been blogging for dunno how long. So min hui helped me blog.haha. ok im typing in super broken english now, don mind me. haha. but at least good things are starting t0 happen to me. hope tat it'll carry on forever or something. ok im freaking bored now.

2008-01-15T15:09:00.000+08:00

hello everyone. i'm am eye an hedge you eye.

am eye see hedge yi elle elle yi is lazy to blog so i am told to help her blog this rubbish.

i dont know what to blog. =.=

i'm bored.

oh. just something as an update of her life, she's in love! hahaha!

with who, ASK HER YOURSELF. i dont want to get killed.

like.. as you know.. she's one you cannot offend or you'll die.. you know you know..

HAHAHAHA.

just to give you a clue, its a guy. nice and ADORABLE guy. LOL!

cool huh.

just in case another GUY's looking, forget it la. you no chance already. HAHAHA

BOOHOOO to you.

2007-12-14T23:44:00.001+08:00

you know, people think that the world's changed. & that there should be equality between both men and women. yes, there should be socially- work, academic, etc .
but, still there're some "traditions" that women like man to do. for example, being in a relationship. some women prefer it their unique way of getting guys.
but most, prefer to be handled like glasses.. you know.. like fragile.. yea.
women likes to be pampered. dont deny that fact, people. perhaps in some cases, men get pampered too. thats another different case. i'm talking about my thoughts. men should just get their thoughts straight to the women.

男追女隔座山，

女追男隔层沙。

still believing in this thought? perhaps in some cases. but in simpler cases, thats not the case. it'll just become:

男追女隔层沙,

女追男隔座山。

dont you think so? thats why the "traditions" shouldnt be called "traditions". they should be called preference instead.
women prefer to be the banana and men, the banana skin. (hahahaha!)
well, its really sweet having a guy treating you like as if the world's below your feet whenever he's around

(credits to MINHUI!) HAHAHAHA

2007-10-12T10:22:00.000+08:00

Ah im bored~ so early in school liao cos of history tutorial. Cant stand this girl in my class. so irritating la. like wat's her prob la.. don look and stare at ppl will die isit? crazy. and everytime snatch ppl's things away to copy. some more don sae thanks. WAT'S UR FREAKING PROBLEM LAR! get a grip la can. can u be more polite not... goodness. no wonder no one likes u in the school la. stupid! is this how u treat ur friends and ur classmates? expect them to help u and order them to help u. wth la. i hate ppl who don sae thanks one la. like so rude la. maybe u don even noe tat u're in the wrong in the first place la. another one in denial. denying tat no one likes u and u still act like u dunno and cant feel anytthing, u and bamboo make a good match. go save the world... GO~! cant stand ur attitude la. fuck. i ren u very long liao lor. and pissing ur classmates and friends off is not a good thing lor. stupid. I just dislike seeing ur face!

Ah~~~ no 'asshole' to complain to abt all this stuff now.. sian lor.. but im very surprised and happy... HAHAHA. yesterdae he surprised me by calling me leh..and talking to me online some more. hahaha. sho happy man. cos my mood yesterdae was like quite bad due to some fucked up ppl and things. seriously wat's their prob also lor.. are all chinese instrumentalists all like tat? crap! 'asshole' quickly come back man! then i got someone to complain to..hahahahaha!

2007-10-11T18:32:00.000+08:00

They left. 17 daes without him.. omg can.. sian. i think im gonna feel very sian. hai.. dunno la. just feel weird without him by my side.. crap. ah just hope the daes can pass by faster... sian~

maybe i've never really given up in the first place.

2007-10-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

Some test tat minhui ask me to take... haha...

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2007-09-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

U disgust me! backstabbing ur own friend. disgraceful not?! hmmm... but i think u're not. tat's y u're doing tat now isnt it? HAH. so stupid. no dumb. don use brains. u wan to think u're better right? so be it lor. no one's fighting with u. go think and dream all u one. u wan the first seat right? go take lor. not like i wan anyway. maybe i shld leave tat place. then no one to compete with u liao, then u will be happy isnt it? in the first place, i go there just to hav fun, but u hav to sae until like i go there for a motive. WATEVER~ don think tat i dunno wat u did and sae behind my back. if u think u can hide it forever, u're wrong. u wan to sae me, sae it in my face. don go hide it and wat nots. like wat im doing now. i noe u'll read it. read it then. i don care. i think u shld wake up and face reality. Oh, and i didnt noe u can make up untrue facts also. good for u man. ya right man, best friends. bullshit. i didnt even do anything to u, yet u backstabbed me. wat a good friend indeed. I wont care how u feel after u read it. u can be in self denial all u wan. up to u. u can tell other good friends of urs how lousy and sucky i am, go spin ur own story and let them hear only one side of the story. i also don care. im sick of all this shit. seriously, u're the one who hav changed but u blame it on other ppl cos u thought ppl changed. go reflect. hmm, but if u don reflect i don care either. take it or leave it.

2007-09-20T18:47:00.000+08:00

PLS don underestimate my level of EQ and IQ, cos it's far from wat u think. Stupid ppl hav stupid mentalities. seriously, sometimes i think they're a form of entertainment to me as well... so, watever...hahaha! and if friends mean so little, wat for be friends? scold ppl also must scold ppl behind the back... aiyo tsk tsk. instead of reflecting whether u've changed, u go blame ppl for the changes? DIAO! so childish. just cos of one small little thing, u can be pissed? and change ur nick to wat stupid nonsense? sooo childish. seriously, go reflect instead of blaming ppl. im not scared tat u see it, or make everybody think tat im wrong, cos in the first place, the person who changed drastically its u.. not me. and moreover, y shld i be scared?! then it proves tat it's my fault wad.. chey!~ Oh did i forget to sae? u're in serious self-denial, or denial. get a grip.

Hmm... enough abt those stupid stuff. got back harmony todae. Phew man~ i passed. i thought i was going to fail cos during the test i panicked.haha. all of us did fairly well. haha. dunno abt the rest though. anw, chinese ensemble now... EE!!

2007-09-06T00:30:00.000+08:00

FINALLY~~~ tests are over. but seriously, HARMONY and HISTORY killed me lar.. wth! must get it right for the next test man. SIAN!! then now just realised tat we're having an aural test two weeks later, OMG OMG OMG! serious, studying music is difficult. hahaha. anw todae's sy prac was ok lar. ku didnt scold tat much, but dunno y, he was exceptionally farni todae man. like dots?! wat bejing duck and wat nots... dots.. we were like huh?! then deli blow tat shell thingy sounds like farting man, so farni la. I ming and I were like laffing through the whole rehearsal until the end. hahaha!! anw, harmony, hai, i hope i can understand everything soon man! and i managed to finish the 1st inversions exercise, with the help of GABRIEL! THANKS MAN! HAHAHA. anw, gtg liao... nite~~

2007-09-02T02:02:00.000+08:00

hmmm todae... BORING~ slept till 12.haha. cos yesterdae talked on the phone with freaky until like 5am in the morning.hahaha. was intending to prac abit before ps, but ah well...hahahaha. Ps.... hmm.... GOOD! i like ps lessons now man. gave my teacher royce chocolates for teacher's dae present. the chocolates there are nice la.... but EX! haha. but nvm... anything for my teacher. then we chat... chat for whole one hr, talking crap and gossiping. cos she's alone at hm with her dog, so like very bored then i acc her by talking. she told me alot of stuff, and ya i think it's true and i hav to do it... oh and she said im similar to her when she was younger. didnt noe tat man. haha. oya... and i showed her my virtual dog. ok la it sounds crappy but serious, my 'dog' is cute! WAHAHA!! and his name is tobe... ok if tobe sees this he'll faint, luckily he don read blogs..haha. AH~~ and portfolios are killing me. so many things to do, but so little time... madness! dunno how ppl actually survive from it.hahahaha. dr kan is good man. if i were her, i'll faint after marking so many of them.hahaha. PEI FU!!! oh and surprising man... tat wbg is a G... WTH! HAHAHA. and freaky, u broke ur record by eating with ur parents todae man!! HAHAHAHA

2007-08-31T23:00:00.000+08:00

Todae(fridae) is a very fun day la! esp in the comp lab. it's like full of crap. my god. hahaha. the conversations among the ppl is realli dame farni la. hahaha. Eldrick is realli farni man. I tot he dao one, but not.hahaha. esp todae, come in only,"i wanna play dota! i wanna play dota!" SO DOTS LA! HAHAHA. and farni. then after tat he wants to play the piano but no sound, minhui came in, then he exclaimed,"eh u girl right, use ur cb to hit the keys." WTH man! HAHAHA. like it's so pointless la. suddenly saying this. the whole com lab started laffing like dunno wat la. thn minhui said,"u use ur lj to hit la!" SUPER FARNI MAN!!! HAHAHAHA... everyone was roaring with laughter la.. Then after tat he showed us this pic of a chocolate cake, saying it's very nice. both sebestian and minhui said,"like shit lar..." walao, we all laff like mad can. hahaha. seriously, wat kind of school is this man...hahahahaha!! I cant stop laffing la...hahaha. then me and joe overheard one of the seniors saying he changed his clothes cos when he bend down he tore his shirt. Tat was the last man! both of us keep laffing and laffing and laffing like nobody's business. fairul was like looking at us with this unbelievable look! FARNI! and tat stupid bb, go sae fairul wat malay, stupid la. he is so wat? wat's wrong with tat la. don be such a freaking racist can not. crazy. shut up man. and ur acting cute is disgusting lar.. stop it! and stop thinking tat u're very up to date by watching family guy. pls lor... it's like dunno how many years ago la, and it's only now tat u're watching it. get a grip. and stop laffing like some big fuck man. so yuck. and not everybody like u can. don keep following us! EE!! and YOU(another person)!!! stop being so fake! makes me puke.

Then later in the night, me and minhui went to suntec to buy chocolates for my teacher. but we ended up wandering to the arcade after we bought the chocolates. started playing photo hunt but changed to this "Rainbow Music" thingy. it was fun la. then we started breaking records for all the 6 machines. Dame crap la...hahaha. but fun! play until our hands pain.haha. MINHUI! rest our hands man! haha. all the pressing.HAHA. anw, gtg sleep, cya~!

Our signature names!!! HAHAHAHA =P
1st machine with -------- 213200 points!!!
2nd machine with -------- 205700 points!!!
3rd machine with -------- 196700 points!!!
4th machine with -------- dunno how many
points lar HAHAHA!!!

5th machine with -------- 213000 points!!!
6th machine with -------- 209400 points!!!

2007-08-31T18:50:00.000+08:00

After the incident then I realised I dont want to lose you at all in the first place~

hk camp

2007-08-10T12:25:00.000+08:00

Im back! AT LAST RIGHT! HAHAHA. back from hk. and seriously, I miss them alot. esp... u noe u noe~ hahaha. luckily they don see my blog. Anw, learnt quite alot of things and made alot of friends during this trip. I don even feel like coming back here and resuming my almost boring life, facing hypocrites, and getting in touch with my hw. It totally sucks. I hate coming back here after spending 10 days there. It somehow changed me on my perception of things. In hk, I can practice with my friends and playing and talking together until late in the night. But here, I don feel the same when I'm practicing with other pipa ppl. The feeling is super different. I feel stressed when I practise here. At there, they'll share tips with me as we practise together and they're so friendly. It's not tat kind of 'friendly' though. they're sincere abt wat they do. I LOVE THEM!! and the wardens, they realli took care of us.. and they're so considerate.. NICE! On the last dae, we just cried man.. too reluctant to leave the place. It's like filled with memories la... happy memories... hai.. I hope can go back there again... go meet my friends... maybe can consider going there to study as well... HAHA~!!

quotes!

2007-06-10T01:35:00.000+08:00

Shakespeare said,"To be or not to be, that's the question."

Oh man, im starting to like 亚瑟. He's soooo cool and intellectual. Got tat smart looking face. Im just fascinated by him. ahaha. Ok, xueqi i noe u must be saying im crazy over him liao. I DON CARE!!! HAHAHAHA!!! I noe u like 雷克斯 la... he not bad also la..haha. Also got brains. HAHA!!

Oh, and these are the other quotes I found. HAHAHA. I just like quotes la! HAHA!! They're realli quite meaningful. (and i think one of them refers to someone!)

莎士比亚说,

"当荣誉心受伤的时候, 友谊是治愈它的良药."

"无知的人, 永远是为维护自己的利益而战."

"人们可以支配自己的命运, 若我们受制于人, 那错不在命运, 而在我们."

"目眩时更要旋转, 自己痛不欲生的悲伤, 以别人的悲伤, 就能够治愈."

"有怀疑就有真理, 因为真理是怀疑的影子."

Ok ppl, i noe u must be wondering y i suddenly became gd in my mandarin. It's not la.. just think they sound better in mandarin. AHAHAHA!!

QUOTES QUOTES QUOTES~~~!!! LALALA~~~!!

tired

2007-05-27T00:51:00.000+08:00

Ok, I was here. Tat KOH MINHUI ask me to go blog. aiya another time. TIRED u noe..hahaha.. anw, I noe it's abit too late.. but.... HAPPY BIRTHDAE! and grow up la!!! HAHAHAHA

2007-05-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

After talking to uncle Johnson, I realised that wat he said may be correct. Negative ppl will only pull u down and not help u at all. I started thinking, are there such ppl around me? and I realised, maybe there are. He also said, even best friends might want to see u fall and not help u. Wat he said might be true. I dunno y I just had this thought, but it might be also wrong. Seriously, blogging how I truely feel is so dangerous here. Anyone might see it, and anyone might backstab me again. I hate ppl backstabbing me cos I don do tat to other ppl. U may sae I'm another hypocrite, ya watever. I cant be bothered with all those stupid remarks tat those shit ppl give. Seriously I shldnt be influenced by all those remarks. Cos tat only imply tat they don understand me. So wat for I care?.. I shld seriously consider not to blog anymore. Afterall, I hate this place.....

fucking ben boo

2007-04-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

My god~!! I cant stand it anymore. He's realli as asshole i must sae. Tat BB.. can get drowned in his saliva and stupid nonsensical thinking. It doesn't mean tat when ur dad is in it, u'll get to noe more things than us. OMG!! pls!! get a grip can? u just don get it tat ppl don like u isit? goodness~ so crap. and pls la.. y would ppl tell u impt things abt their organisation and treat u as one of them? wake up la can... my god.. it's obvious tat they treat u as an outsider. AND don think that u noe more than us. I personally feel tat both of us noe more things than u. and it's ALOT more! Ur news are all heard from ur dad and no one else. so don come and act smart in front of us by telling us this and tat. Oya.. and i advise u to seal ur lips so tat i wont ever hav to hear u talk again. U're pissing me off. Don sae tat ur IQ is 150, if it is, then mine will be 500 alreadi. omg can? Do u take us as stupid idiots like u? U don even noe wat's the story of " Romeo and Juliet", still come and sae this kind of thing to us. PLS don classify us in the same catergory as u can? -faints- Don ever think tat u can bluff us with ur stupid lies. Actually it's not even lies.. they're just stupid reasons tat u came up with to cover up ur acts. DUMB!!! Oya, and can u stop saying how good u are? because i personally feel tat u sucks! maybe not in ur playing, but in ur character and how u treat ppl. Action speaks louder than words. How can u not sae thanks when someone help u do things? Tat's like basic manners. If u're thinking tat u're high and mighty, hoho, U'RE NOT!!! U're worst than a dog man... and out of all ppl, maybe only ur pathetic gf will listen to u and give in to u and believe ur stupid lies. I don even noe wat she sees in u man. Oh, and u said tat we got in cause of some politics and not get in through the correct way. Tat means u're also as bad as us tat's y u got in throught tat way. HAHA. indirectly saying u play badly. How stupid can u get?? HAHA... Moreover, ALL of us EXCEPT u took the theory and the audition. If we got in, it's through our abilities. As for u, it's cause of ur DAD tat u got in. I wonder how will u survive when ur dad's gone.. TSK TSK~! Oh, and I feel tat wat the teachers said are correct. It's true u've been idling ur time away. Still trying to bluff ppl by telling us how bz u are. I have to admit, I realli despise u alot. Think of these lowly reasons to bluff us. pls think before u sae. At least u wont die tat early in future. And don always think u're right, cause most of the time u're not. Don think tat u're good and challenge ppl to games or other things. cause most of time it turned out tat u still suck at it. Esp when it comes to PLAYING THE PIANO! Y would u wan to challenge a pianist when u jolly well noe he's better than u? so stupid. just making urself look idiotic and shallow. And pls... doesnt mean tat going sco to guest musician is a big deal can..? u cant just miss lessons to go for tat. Pretending like u're so impt in the co tat when they don hav u then they'll die like tat. goodness. They chose u cause ppl who're MUCH BETTER than u like eugene or kangren cant make it for the concert then they find u. Get some sense into ur head can? I cant imagine I'll be in the same class with u for 3 super long yrs. I hope to be immuned from ur crap man. GROW UP! and don keep relying on ur dad for help. MY GOD! like baby like tat. I feel so malu to be the same age as u~~

sucks

2007-03-20T02:17:00.000+08:00

After todae, I think I shld just forget abt hoping tat wat i wished for will come true since everything tat i wished for, besides things tat can use money to buy with, all wont come true. It's just a stupid thinking of mine tat things I wished for will gradually come true. MY FOOT! I hate my life.

omg!

2007-03-10T21:54:00.001+08:00

Just finished my theory paper todae... Oh the whole, it was ok lar... studying did pay off... but I think there'll still be a few mistakes.. sian... hope still can get a distinction. Have to starting spending more time on practising since grading is coming. Oh man, I hate gradings.. so tensed and scary. Went for lesson todae, and it wasnt realli very good. Yls said alot of things to me, oh man, better buck up.. left only abt two weeks.. SIAN AH!!! Gradings here I come~~~~

Oh and yesterdae went back to school to find minhui, and we saw haijie practising. So we went to 'disturb' him..haha.. and he played "Emperor" upon request from us.. HAHA. Oh man, he's realli good la... his hands, sooooo fast.. dunno made of wat man. HAHA. and he's qian xu la.. although he played like so well. not like some ppl, think they're sooo good. dots. Then we saw ma sai also... i keep thinking he's like frankenstein..haha.. so tall.. and like weird weird one, no offence..HAHA.. aiya anw I go lian qin liao... cya~~~

wedding

2007-03-05T01:26:00.000+08:00

OK at last I'm typing something. For the sake of WU XUE QI~! like auntie like tat... keeps pestering me to blog. aiyo..tsk tsk. HAHAHA. At last, chinese new yr has come to an end. I dread hearing the same songs over and over again, so irritating.

3rd March 2007
I went to watch the ntuco concert. One word to describe it --- Bad~! Most of the instruments were out of tune when they played, and the solos.... hmm... the solos, I better not sae here. In case I get backstabbed again. I didnt noe a co can be tat bad. I thought they would hav improved after one yr, but apparently it didnt, how sad. Ah, don wanna talk much abt it too..HAHA.

4th March 2007
Spent half of my dae slacking at hm and studying. Oh man, why do they hav so many italian terms?! memorise until wanna puke liao..haha. Then went for wedding dinner. I must realli thank steven kor kor, he saved my face... AHAHAH... THANKS MAN! and CONGRATS!! U got urself a pretty wife... AHAHA... and I think the wedding was great man... except for the food..haha... okok only. The groom sang life on stage for the first time for his wife.. so romantic.haha. and when I saw the slideshow, even more romantic.. showing how they met each other and all tat.. and it's super farni with all the cartoons.. haha... Oh, and cause he's an army officer, they had this sword thingy which I forgot wat it was called... so cool man! HAHA. The couple's age gap was 12 la... so big! One zodiac cycle..haha.. After this wedding dinner, I was thinking to myself, finding the right person is diff man. When u found him/her, shld grab the opportunity and don let go...hahaha... k la, gtg liao....buaiz~

forgetting u.....

2007-02-06T00:54:00.000+08:00

Liking someone is really a very tiring and shitty experience. Getting into a relationship is even worse. I'll nv go into relationships at this point of time, so risky.

I have to sae at this point of time I realli dislike u. U shld noe who u are. And it's all those things tat gradually made me dislike u. Y do i have to explain everything to u, even though some things i just cant explain, esp things to do with my feelings. U were very imp to me, but now... maybe u're just not as impt to me as the past. I feel so tired caring for u. Until yesterdae, I realised maybe u don even give a dame whether I care for u or not. Maybe I'm realli of very little significance in ur heart. And I shldn't rely on u too much from now, or it'll cause some things to happen like todae. I'm alreadi very sian diao cause everytime I need u, u're not there.. Isit just coincidence or it's just u cant be bothered?... I dunno... Yes, maybe to u, u'll think tat it's very unfair, since u're always there when I need to talk to someone. But did u realli ever consider how I feel during these times? Ya I'm grateful, but I realli need ur help... hai, say too much, u also wont believe it, since u're alreadi having negative preceptions on me. I just wan to let u noe, if u're realli in need of help, i'll rush down no matter wat to help u. That's how much I care for u, but do u care as much as I care for u?? I don think so. U'll never ever do tat. Confirm~ I shld just stop bothering abt u, and stop caring for u too much, since I wont get the same amount of care tat I've put into u. I actually feel sad for myself. I'm MICHELLE, y did I land myself in this kind of situation? If it were the me in the past, I would just forget abt everything and get on with life as per normal, but y am I getting myself into this shit tat I jolly well noe I'll keep falling deeper and deeper into it?! WHY!!! I hate u for always affecting my thoughts and feelings, I hate u for always being so nice to me, I hate u for lending me a listening ear, I hate u for always cheering me up when I'm feeling down, I hate u for always going out with me when I'm bored, I hate u for landing me in this situation. But, those were the reasons that made me fell deeper into the trap. Y did u even wan to appear in my life?! Without u, I'll be living much happily now. Y did u affect me in every way....! Maybe it's time for me to let go everything, since I noe the outcome wont be something tat I wished for.. I shld let go.... forget.....

2007-01-30T17:18:00.000+08:00

I'm BORED~~~ now still in school.... slacking! hahaa!! I like the guest conductor! AHAHAHA!!! cause he very nice, and patient too. His conducting is also good, haha. and yesterdae was so duh. we guest musicians and the conductor arrived before 9a.m, but we had to wait until 945a.m for prac to start due to some reasons. although can see tat he's quite pissed, but he still remain calm and handled everything properly. which is good... realli professional man! HAHA. okok ppl don mistaken, i don like him as in tat way, just admire him as a conductor..haha.. and todae's prac was eek! I cant play properly, think didnt sleep enough and i'm not paying attention to the conductor. hmph~~ i must go prac when i get hm.... and memorise those stupid notes tat are freaking diff! ah~~ i'll continue blogging later in the night.... haha! CYA CYA~~~~~

2007-01-29T01:23:00.000+08:00

Ok, haven been blogging for the past few daes... just to update on things... esp for XUEQI to read... since u said i blog too little!! HAHA...

Had my first sco prac with the sco musicians on thurs. it was... scary but fun! haha.. rare opportunity and i'm gonna make full use of it. teachers were very helpful and guided me.. oh and the guest conductor is very friendly too. and he's realli good.haha. liked the piece he composed for my teacher - Gu Dao Sui Xiang. Real nice, although it's of modern style, it still retains abit of tat traditional flavour in it.

School was fun too. except for chinese ensemble, due to some reasons. haha. made quite a number of new friends... oh and there're three jeremys in my class.. my god..haha. teachers were.... ok la. and the guys in our class are somewhat childish..haha. always crapping all the way.hahaha. i like my class. much better than i expected it to be.haha. oh and learned quite alot of things when im there too. esp how to survive in there. hahaha.

HAHA and spent yesterdae clubbing until 1 a.m. Ok i noe it's bad, but once in a while is not bad. esp when u're having lots of stress..haha. and frankly speaking, i cant wait anymore. maybe i shld give up on tat issue. best for both sides, and don hav to spend so much time thinking abt it. time will tell. changes may be made to it, but on the other hand, maybe it'll remain the same. I don wanna think abt all this stuff now. just wanna concentrate on my music and studies~~~~~

eug toh, xq

2007-01-20T03:23:00.000+08:00

Up till now, I realised tat actually there're realli true friends around me. Those tat lend a listening ear, those tat feel unjust for me in some situations, and those, who're just there to help with anything within their means. Luckily I have these friends who're there for me when I need them. I hate those who claim to be my good friends but whenever I met with a problem, they'll just run away or pretend to be busy with other things. This is where true friends come in. I'm realli thankful tat I have all these friends tat acc me when I've hit a rough patch. THANKS!!!

And now, I don even noe wat kind of world I'm living in. It's full of deceit. At least to me la. I dunno who to believe, or who can I trust. Maybe the environment tat i lived in last time cause me to be wat I am now.Even though my close friends trust me alot, I'm sorry to sae tat cause of my character, I'm still wary of everyone, including both of u. Sorry is all tat I can sae to u now. I noe u both will be sad upon knowing this, but this is wat I wan to tell the both of u. I'm sorry. Maybe time will change everything, but the changes will be very slow. Esp to freaky, I noe I've hurt u many times, but u just endure it without saying anything back at me. I noe u must be feeling very terrible these few daes cause I'm treating u as a punchbag for nth. When u qns me abt y I'm doing this, it's more of 'I dunno how to reply u' than 'I don wanna reply u'.. And it's not tat I'm blaming u for not being able to console me, actually I'm realli very relieved and happy tat u're actually by my side, listening to my complaints, my joy and my woes. I'm realli glad to have u as my close friend. And don be sad tat I don trust u completely like how u do, I'm still trying to change my perception on trusting ppl and believing in them. It's difficult to tell u face to face the things I wan to sae thus I'm blogging it down here. Maybe it'll be easier for u to understand wat I'm thinking. I noe u're very nice to me, and frankly speaking, I'm realli very touched. Esp when I'm realli in desperate need of help u're there to help me. Although I'm always saying stupid things to hurt u, u nv once gave up on this friendship. And deep down inside, I'm realli very happy and touched. Maybe by saying all this now wont help by improving the situation we're in now, but this is wat I've got to sae to u...

And xq, at last we're cleared all the misunderstanding. I don wanna lose a good friend like u. And I hope such cases wont happen again. I hate it. I know u're squashed in between and it's difficult for u to breathe properly until we had to resort to quarrelling which made matters worse. U're my best friend, and I don wan anyone or anything to come between us again. I don like the feeling of quarrelling with my best friend over something insignificant. We shld just forget abt all those bad experiences and carry on with life... thanks for siding me and helping me in tat situation. Although I noe tat case will nv be the same again, but thanks anw!!

2007-01-15T01:16:00.000+08:00

Ok I'm very pissed. how come there are ppl who're so retarded in this world? retard until I dunno wat to sae man. and pls, if u wan to backstab or badmouth me, just do it in front of my face, don act like some asshole and beat round the bush and badmouth abt me. and don MIX topics together. u don even noe a head or tale abt anything and just ASSUME like nobody's business. pls la, get a grip can? ppl may think u're stupid or something. oh and can u don be sooooo sensitive, 'PLS' don judge situations just by wat ppl typed or said. it's freaking dumb and stupid. if I were saying u, tat means i'm saying everyone else who typed the same thing as u. ASK before u ASSUME things. for ur information, i'm not tat free to backstab ppl all dae long, i'm not tat pathetic as to spend my day like tat. moreover, if u didnt do anything bad, u're not scared being said by other ppl, be it by mistake or on purpose. STOP being a HYPOCRITE. it's good advice, or u'll get urself into deep shit some dae. which i think u just did. HAH! saying ppl behind their backs is NOT a very good thing to do, but apparently, u might have been doing it since dunno when tat u feel nth now. I'm 'BEGGING' u to stop doing tat cause u're going to get 'KILLED' by doing this. oh but it's ok if u don take my suggestion into consideration, being that person u are. u might be thinking wat a hypocrite michelle is, saying all this kinds of things. maybe ppl noe u as a sweetie but pls u cant fool me. u can just stick to ur tat bunch of friends and carry on badmouthing me and putting words into my mouth. u can be the bad guy in disguise and i be the good one. HAHA. how cool!! cant wait. oh and another reminder. PLS, and i mean PLS, think twice abt wat u wan to sae next time, or u'll hav to bear the consequences, BIG MOUTH plus KNOW-IT-ALL!!! thank you~ =D

i hate it

2007-01-06T02:20:00.000+08:00

Most people may think or feel that I'm a person who's very difficult to get along with. The truth is, yes I am. Maybe some people may think that I wear masks, but let me ask you, in this world, who doesn't wear masks wherever they go? To some, it may mean that they need to do this to get what they want. To others, it may be a form of protection for themselves. If you insist that I do wear masks, then I would say I choose the latter for the reason. People who don't understand or know me, will think that i'm very cold, very serious and like what i said, difficult to get along. It's true to some extent. If I don't like someone, it'll show on my face. However, I don't do it to make people dislike me. That's how I am. If you can't take it, I have no choice too. I don't go round bootlicking people with different masks or whatever you may think of. But I can tell u I'm not such a person. It's up to you whether you want to believe what I said or not. I just don't like it when people misjudge me without even knowing me. I don't like people to barge into my thoughts and trying to figure out what I'm thinking. And I won't do it on other people. I'll just observe them. And I don't go round backstabbing ppl. Maybe after reading this entry you may think I'm just lying, if it's like that, I don't care. I just need to get it off my chest.

I realised that in this world and society, being straightforward or blunt may just kill you in your future doings. Now I know why those bootlickers won't die earlier than those people who're too straightforward. They have a way to influence people and suck up to them like nobody's business. One more thing I realised is that I shouldn't trust people too much or I'll get myself hurt in the end. Even the closest kin or friend might betray you someday.2006 really taught me many things, be it bad or good. The experiences have taught me to be more cautious of what I do and say. And walls really have 'ears', much to my disappointment. Maybe it's good to keep a low profile from now...........

2006

2007-01-04T16:12:00.000+08:00

School starting next week liao.. at last starting, or i'll be so bored at hm. slacking everydae and nth to do one. ARGH!!! But now is good!! AHAHA!!!

Ok, 2006 - quite a bad yr for me. Nth realli went smoothly for me the whole yr. I don give a dame whether i'm principle or not, it doesn't matter to me now. As in, I don realli expect much from sy to give me other chances to showcase my talent in front of other ppl after seeing me play tat badly during the comp. If i'm able to go china next yr, i'll quit sy and go there to learn more things than i can in singapore. I'm much happier there. The life there is better than wat i'm experiencing in singapore now. As for sy, it doesn't realli matter to them whether they hav more pipa players or less pipa players, since they hav good ones this yr. So it doesn't bother me too. I just wanna study and get good results, finish my course and go off to china. Wee~~HAHA!
But, there are some ppl whom i would like to thank for always being there for me when i need a shoulder to cry upon, a listening ear or a crapping khaki! haha! XUEQI - thanks ah, for always being there for me, and waking me up when i was in depression state( u noe when ah) HAHA! and being my 38 friend too.HAHA. I'm gonna watch ur solo and u better play properly hor!! HAHAHA!! FREAKY - hmm aiya i always beat u all tat but u also like nvm. then sorry for always scolding u and getting angry with u when i'm in a bad mood. But now ok liao right? hahaha... And u don be so stressed la.haha. take it easy k? HAHA!! FAISAL - thanks for always crapping with me when i'm in the mood for crapping! HAHA. oh and we two bitches must still stay in contact k? hahah. and hope u get into the course u wan!! cya when u come back!! SUHUI - thanks for being there with me, and giving me advice. hope u can excel in watever u do! STICKIE, LIZZIE, CC - thanks for giving me a wonderful time in mj. I'll treasure it! This yr As, all of u must work hard k!! esp STICKIE!!! JIAYOU EVERYONE!! ok, think im done with all the thanking.HAHA. For now.... CYA~~~~

tian long!!!

2006-12-26T14:51:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging lately. Guys, i'm realli ok liao... thought through alot of things for the past few weeks. I'll continue to play pipa no matter wad and strive for the best out of it. So, all of u don hav to worry abt me liao. I'M OK!! HAHA~ but thanks to all of u la..haha.. for consoling me.. lala~

Ok, hlm just ended. i think i'll miss it. It's so fun, playing with all the ppl and under the baton of zhang lie. Although he's strict, but he's good la..haha. Wu bi xia's singing was - GREAT~ She's good man. She can biao until so high.. cool!! haha.. and the two MCs who took up the narrating part, they were great too. Esp the guy, his voice deep deep one, so man la.. i like! HAHAHA!! Idol!! hahaha. Although he's a replacement but he's still good, and he's not bad looking.haha. Omg i cant stop laughing la.hahaha... I think i'm mad liao.hahaha.. ok for now like tat la..hahaha

my dreams gone

2006-12-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

After the competition, I'm starting to think whether i'm realli cut out to go into the music path. I don mean to offend anyone, but those who said they wont look down on me, do they realli mean it?? I don noe.. Maybe teacher has half given up on me too. going for lessons is like a torture for me now. Anw, i cant say much here too, in case.... ya maybe im not cut out for this. My ji ben's bad, mentality is bad, performing is bad, confidence is bad, yue gan's bad, everything's bad... xq sae i shldnt be soo sensitive, shldnt think so much, just carry on practising. It's easy to sae, but it's not easy to do it, isnt it?... u noe it too. Now, out of all her students, i'm the last or something, maybe even in sy seating plan i'm the behind one. ah watever la, im alreadi trying my best to block out all those negative thoughts, but i think it takes time. hai try la~~~~

shitty

2006-12-11T19:44:00.000+08:00

Competition can really change a person. It changed me, and it changed how ppl see me as a pipa player. Maybe they'll look down on me and think that my playing sucks like shit. Even my parents starting to look down on me. Yes I noe I played very very badly on the day of comp, but do u have to treat me like this? U mean ppl don make mistakes at all? I did put in alot of effort on this comp, but too bad I didnt play as well as I did during normal times. Anything bad will always happen to me. Y?... Hai.... Michelle is offically dead~

2006-12-08T20:37:00.000+08:00

Hai... i've let my teacher down. i'm a bad pipa player. i'm sorri...

comp!!

2006-11-30T00:09:00.000+08:00

Today went for rehearsal at esplanade. To me, it was quite bad. I cant get used to the lighting, the chair and the atmosphere. In total, bad, BAD!!!! hai... and my fingers are still painful. HOW?!?!? bad man..... how to compete next week????????? hai.... hope god bless me......

this sucks

2006-11-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

I give up. I realli give up on u this time. After all tat I've done, and it all comes down to a " I'm sorry". U sucks man...

im bored

2006-11-21T02:32:00.000+08:00

I'm shoooooo bored~~ ARGH!! Just changed new blog skin... thanks to xq... AGAIN! Okok, I'm trying to learn how to do it myself, hahaha. Gosh, I hope competition end soon, so that I dont hav to keep worrying and worrying non stop. It's bad for health u noe..HAHA... Didnt wan to compete, but since i chose to, I have to give it my best.. Practising 6 hours a day is actually quite alot but ah well, that's preparation for competition. U might not even get the results u wan despite practising so much. Gosh, hope luck's with me on the day of the competition. SCARY!!! And some more the judges, dunno whether are they good or bad...HAHA.(no offence). And XXX keeps telling me abt how busy she is and all that, doing stupid things and all guys stuff... HELLO! I'm not in the mood to keep hearing you say the same things over and over again. It's like sho boring can... goodness. Get a grip. I wont die without having a bf. I'm not like u! My god... lalala

Mickie's profile

Name: michelle low
Birthday: 7 nov 89
Horoscope: scorpio
Zodiac: snake
Friends: xq, faisal, qd, sh, kx, sticky, cc, lizzie blah blah..........

Likes

:: junk, sushi, noodles
:: black, white, blue, yellow
:: harry potter books, shadowland, anything on music, gossip girl, fearless
:: pirates of the carribean, harry potter, GOONG, click, the covenant, CSI, criminial minds
:: pipa pipa and more pipa
:: freaky~~
:: shopping, gossiping with 38, lalala~~
:: my handphone, laptop and mp3

Dislikes

:: hypocrites
:: disgusting things
:: homos??? HAHAHA
:: darkness
:: lost
:: boredom

OK! I think I'm reallllliiiii bored to type all this stupid stuff. madness. haha. ah watever... maybe ppl can noe me better? ok it's ridi to noe more about me with all this weird info.HAHA.. I'm weird!! HAHAHA~~

sun

2006-11-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

Ok, todae's pipa lesson. went quite ok. Until the part when I have to play xu lai, omg man. I played ok, at least didnt forget anything. But my left thumb was bleeding, stained on the back of my pipa la! so disgusting man~~~ I didnt realise it until i have finished playing all the songs. Regret cutting my nails so deep in, the the skin was tore apart from the nail la. So eee can.... hai~ Cant practise for a few days again, goodness man! Hope my finger will heal quickly, or cant practise at all...

extraz~~

2006-11-19T04:44:00.000+08:00

OK! I added something to my extras, AT LAST!!! hahaha... my archives. Shld have thought of it earlier eh? XQ I NOE HOW TO DO IT MYSELF ALREADI~~ AHAHA! thanks ah.. all the browsing and flipping..haha... I must be mad, so late haven sleep yet. Oh well, cant get to sleep so here I am blogging nonsense.haha. Then SOMEBODY will stop complaining, haha. Boring, boring boring! Can singapore actually have a more exciting night life?? So boring one. Chey~

Recently got engrossed in watching GONG. SO COOL CAN! hahaha~ and xin so cool. Ok, he's not handsome but he's dao, I like..hee.. so xq, don keep saying xin not nice k. Oh, and i managed to join the fan club. Madness man me.haha...

Competition nearing. ARGH~~~ 2 weeks left... so little time to practise already. OMG OMG!! Someone help me man.haha. Not in the competition mood too, how?!?! Ah watever, I'll just do my best on stage~ LALALA~~~~

im giving up....

2006-10-29T13:10:00.000+08:00

I suddenly wanna give up on my pipa alreadi... no matter how hard i tried, no matter how hard i practised, she'll always think that im not good enough, cant be compared to the rest. I love playing pipa.. but now, i don even noe wat am i playing. Every lesson is like a bad experience for me. Am i tat bad until i have to be said until like tat...??? Because of this, i realli feel like smashing all my pipa-s. It's not tat i didnt do my hw before going for lessons, i alreadi tried my best to remember everything, but apparently u're not statified. I even tried to solve my own problems, like my lun and all that... trying out different methods, but u didnt even sae anything to encourage me. So wat if i even get a prize for the comp...? Will u be happy? I dunno.... I feel so confused now. Im not happy playing pipa now. I have to worry so many things... I cant even sleep or play properly. It's bad.... xue qi ask me to stop thinking abt it and carry on practising. But i cant... for now i cant.... I thought after coming back from china i'll be ok, but it's not. Im becoming depressed all cause of wat she said...hai....

2006-09-20T04:03:00.000+08:00

I tried... i realli did.. but did u? hai... if i had known the outcome will be like tat, then i shldnt have waited and put so much hope in it....hai.... maybe i shld give up now... or it'll be worse...

2006-09-10T00:46:00.000+08:00

so many things happened these few days... guo lao shi left, went to audit for nafa, quitting school, practising like mad, beautiful sundae concert... SIAN AH! i don like to perform la.. crap. just wan to play pipa..

et going...

2006-08-11T22:16:00.001+08:00

Sad... He's going overseas to study soon... ok la, not tat soon... Then no one will talk and crap with me. No one will be there to talk to me when I'm bored or cannot sleep. No one will help me carry my things when I'm tired. No one will tell me jokes when I'm feeling down. No one will pei me go out when I very sian. No one will wait with me for the bus. No one will scold the person I don like with me. No one will act childish in front of me to make me laugh. I wish he didnt have to go, but like tat is very evil of me...haha...

fucked up

2006-08-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

The world is full of deceit. Even the friends whom u assumed to be may also betray you some day. Is there still trust between people? I've been living a life full of lies... Why all the competition and jealousy? What is yours is yours... dont have to keep fighting for it even if it's not yours to take. Many things happened these few days to me.. maybe I should rethink whether I wan to go for the competition at the end of the year... even if I wan to, will I be able to go compete with ease? Im not sure about it. I can see who are my true friends in these few days of depression. Really, thanks to you. I get to see situations in different perspectives, I get to understand why they did that to me, I get to learn how to cool myself down after what i've been through... It taught me not to trust people too much, or you'll end up getting burnt yourself~~

unfair!

2006-07-04T22:09:00.002+08:00

It's so unfair... why isit that everything unlucky will happen to me? shld i join sy next yr? i realli dunno... after all that has happened, maybe i shldnt. the ppl there don trust me at all... maybe the vice chair isnt of any use to the co. why is the chair and the vice chair doing most of the work? including arranging meetings and planning events? wat is this man... if it's like tat, why don we just have a chair and a vice chair, it's enough to cover all the work. WE too, have our personal things to settle. we don have all the time in the world to do all the work for sy. maybe some ppl think im incapable of doing things cause of my age. so in other words, it means that older ppl are capable of getting things done on time? clearly, it's NOT. it's so obvious in sy.(xl i'm not saying u). Cant i see some justice being done here? apparently there isnt, cause those filthy rich ppl can get wat they wan without even queuing up to get it. wtf man. and some ppl are so blind as to accept their "bribes"?! wat is this?!?! how would anyone react to this matter. goodness!

一个像夏天一个像秋天

2006-06-28T20:41:00.000+08:00

如果不是你我不会相信
朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我只是骂我几句
如果不是你我不会确定
朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的胸怀志意我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你

parts of the song is dedicated to my best friend---
XueQi
~~ AHAHA!!!

枫

2006-06-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠过天边
北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边

sad

2006-05-04T01:40:00.000+08:00

JC Life! one word to describe it- scary. the pace is like so fast la...i hardly can cope man... sianz. made quite a number of friends, did a stupid thing, and mugging.

I wanna cry, but can i? facing problems myself all my life... tired... but who can i rely on?

heart broken

2006-03-13T21:39:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking alot lately. esp in the nights, when the surroundings are quiet, and there's no one to disturb me. I think im locking myself up soon. I'm not going to care abt relationships or anything anymore. I hate getting hurt, i hurt to wait aimlessly, I hate to be deceived... better to focus on my studies and my pipa, at least these wont let me wait and get sad over with. maybe wat rachel said is right, wat for get tied down over this kind of things, not worth to get sad over this. wasting tears and time. wat' the use? hai... some ppl may think that escaping from all this is stupid, but i cant be bothered alreadi. It's at least much better than waiting aimlessly for something which u jolly well know it's not going to come true. I HATE THIS!!! I wish all this will be over soon, although this is hard to forget.. hai...

It's hard to let go when it's time~~~~

et

2006-02-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, i miss this person. although we talk and go out most of the time together, i just feel that we're drifting apart. hai i shldnt have said those words to this person... can i reverse the time? i don wan the ending to be like that...hai....

fucker

2006-02-14T17:33:00.000+08:00

U know wat? YOU're a SUCKER! wat makes u think that everyone's so stupid to believe in ur lies? U think u very good isit? wat's wrong with u? actually i think u're the most stupid person i ever seen, cant even tell a lie properly.

and pls stop thinking that you're very good, because you're definitely not. it just pisses me off when u act smart in front of ppl who're much better than u. I realli wan to slap u man... STOP IT! thank you very much.

introvert

2006-01-18T17:26:00.000+08:00

I realised that i'm actually an introvert. i don like, or rather, am scared to mix with people that i don noe... i've always thought that i'm an extrovert, but i'm not. i don know what have gotten into me these few days, i feel forgotten by everyone. what a nice thought~~ maybe i shld just find a place where no one knows me and stay there forever.. away from everyone i know. i don like mixing around in crowds, i don like to be in the limelight, i don like to socialise that much, i just want to be alone. i always think that walking on the beach alone would be a very lonely thing to do, but after doing that myself, i feel that it is not bad after all. the walk makes u think alot and i've thought through many things, regarding my music, my studies, my feelings... and some things i realised i shld just give up instead of clinging onto them. it's really a waste of my time to do so.

syco's going to start soon, and i'm all alone again. if only xq's there too, then at least i have a companion. i hate that place... if not for that promise i made last yr, i would not be in it at all. i hate the hypocrisy in it, i hate the atmosphere and i hate how members treat one another. why do we want to compete to the extent of not talking to each other? i've already given up being so competitive and i realli hope that most would do so, but i very well know the answer's a no. we play music because it is our passion, not because we want to see who's better and who's got more prizes. yes, it's also good to compete, but overly competitive would only lead to failure. i know i'm contradicting myself here, but it's the truth. it took me very long to realise that what i've been thinking all along is wrong, until someone told me and correct me. now, i feel happy playing my music, and not stressed because i don go and waste my time thinking who's better than me and forcing myself to practise to excel further in order to win that person.

i, too, hate it when people befriend you just because you're popular or you're of any value to them. it's soo ridiculous to do so. why cant u people be normal and stop acting like that? one day people will know who u truely are, and by then no one's going to bother abt u anymore. STOP acting nice in front of people while you're backstabbing them behind their backs. it's totally despicable. and PLS, don pretend to be an angel in front of everybody, i hate it--alot!!!

but i realli want to thank xue qi for always being there for me, being it sad or happy. and sharing tips with me. i hope our friendship will last long. THANKS!!!

sucky me

2006-01-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

first day of school.

but... i didnt apply for any schools so for the whole of today, i've just been practising my pipa. it's just purely practising, and doing nothing else. HAI. i regretted not applying for any schools.. so boring at home!!! gosh, how am i going to survive like that for three mths?! i think the only thing that i'm going to do these three mths is practise practise and more practise, and going for music lessons..

hai don feel like typing le.. bye.

faisal's back

2005-12-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

Woots!! FAISAL'S BACK!!! AT LAST~!! hahaha... good tat he's back.. then i don hav to keep talking to one person..muahaha.. (ok, sorri). hmm... alot of things have occurred during these two mths.. and it's quite difficult to put in words. I just feel more attached to everything here.. the ppl, the place.. everything.

haha and tmr we're going out with faisal.. how nice.. at last we can go out together.. it's like soooo long since we went out..haha...

for now, like tat..haha... nite..

exams ah!!!

2005-11-08T16:30:00.000+08:00

ok, it has been quite some time since i typed my last entry.. I only have one word to describe this whole period of exam week--- STRESS!!! omg I cant believe moe is trying to kill us just like that by cramping all the papers together in just one whole week and out of those papers, most are quite impt.. wth la... and their combination of paper arrangement also sucks.. can U pls arrange it properly the next time?!?!

and because of this stupid Os, I can't practise my pipa.. and my skills are like shit now... I dunno whether will I be able to make it for my audition in like three weeks time.. skali the teachers also think my skills like shit also... die... HOW?!?! (sobs)

and it the midst of exams, I started to think wat am I going to do for the first three mths. Hmm... maybe I can go out to work or something... but on second thought I better not, cause I didnt realli work before..hahaa... maybe I go teach or something.. at least it's better.. and the pay's better..haha..

hai.. I hope I can do well for the Os or I'll be stranded in S'pore and can't go anywhere.. (sobs again)...haha..

(prays to god that I can do well) lalala~~~~

MOI BIRTHDAE

2005-11-07T19:42:00.000+08:00

YAY!! todae's my birthdae!! at last man.. I've been waiting so long for it le..haha... cause then I'll be able to watch NC-16 movies legally liao...not tat I need to la..haha

todae went to class.. gave me a shock cause most of my classmates remembered my birthdae and started wishing me.. oh.. ALOY HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO U TOO!! wahahaha.... thanks ah to all for remembering my birthdae... and faisal, don waste money ok? hahaha....

oh and todae was the first dae of Os... omg.. so stressful, but I managed to overcome it..haha... papers were relatively ok... except for some tricky qns.... haha... hope can do well for both..

hmm.... my birthdae wish is~~~~~(wishes)

haha.. hope it comes true...hahaha =P

my skills..

2005-10-29T01:06:00.000+08:00

hai.. i realised that my skills are slacking.. how? and now i'm having exams also can't practise... i realli dunno wat will happen to my solos and my audition excerpts.

and xq, regarding ur qns abt when i intend to play a concerto.. erm... maybe 10 yrs from now ba...wahaha... and if i play, maybe i'll play tian er or something..haha

hmm... after exams, i must realli buck up.. first thing- need to practise everydae..haha

2005-10-26T22:23:00.000+08:00

I just want to say thanks to u:

for always being there for me,

for understanding me,

for listening to me,

for trusting me,

for being my friend,

for making me happy when i'm down,

for compromising with me,

for helping me scold the person i don like(haha),

for helping me when i'm in need,

and for talking on the phone with me for hours...haha...

不够勇敢

2005-10-23T20:20:00.000+08:00

<<不够勇敢 >>

守在你身边

看你每一个笑脸

笑得那么甜

是他给了你誓言

不敢有埋怨

都是我心甘情愿

或许有一天

我的爱你能看见

一天一点你渐渐走远

我却像空气被忽略

只怪我的爱不够勇敢

一直沉默的作你的依赖

让一切石沉大海

Baby now I need you by my side

过去的一切该怎么放开

Without you I can't fall in love again

wat is true love?

2005-10-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

I always wonder whether true love exists. I always feel that" I love you" these three words are words that are difficult to say it to someone. I dont know the feeling of loving someone to the extent that you can give up everything for that person. But, i know that when that person comes, you'll know it. There's always this feeling that when you meet that person, you'll feel happy, sad; all the feelings mixed together... and this kind of feeling, you'll never experience it everyday or with friends. It's a special kind of feeling...

When you're with that person, you'll tend to wonder how he think of you. You'll be sad when he's down, you'll be happy when he's happy. You'll take care of him intensively when he's hurt, you'll not let him down. When you both are not together, you'll wonder has he eaten his dinner, or how's he doing now...you'll help him when he's in trouble, you'll tend to take note of details that you have never taken note before...

I admit i dunno wat's the meaning of true love because i have not experienced it myself.. but i feel that in my opinion, true love is hard to come by, because it takes courage, patience, understanding and lot's of trust to nurture it... that's why i think it's difficult to say the three words... hai...

朋友

2005-10-21T19:14:00.000+08:00

<<朋友>>

这些年一个人

风也过雨也走

有过泪有过错

还记得坚持甚麽

真爱过才会懂

会寂寞会回首

终有梦终有你在心中

朋友一生一起走

那些日子不再有

一句话一辈子

一生情一杯酒

朋友不曾孤单过

一声朋友你会懂

还有伤还有痛

还要走还有我

idiot

2005-10-20T01:32:00.000+08:00

firstly i hav to say, U SUCK!!! i cant believe i actually can tolerate u for that long period of time. you're shit man... can u stop being so stuck up? and u act like you're despo or something... don keep telling me that whoever and whoever are going to hav dinner with u or go watch movie with u.. cause in the first place, i dont even wan to noe abt it.. wat for u tell me? and for goodness sake, don keep thinking tat ppl talk to u cause they like u or something...and don make urself sound so impt.. it realli sucks man..

on top of that, pls hav some dress sense, if u're fat, don wear tight clothes!! It'll only show all ur fats. PLS bear that in mind. u should be happy tat I am willing to tell u tat..

secondly, don act smart. u're not correct everytime, and pls hear other ppl's opinions, they might be better than urs, so SHUT UP!! smart alec...

hmm that's abt it... i feel much better after scolding U...

真爱 pure love

2005-10-18T18:05:00.000+08:00

<<真爱>>

记忆像游乐园般精采

我们像对恋人相爱

幸福是应该不会是当然

只怪我们都太贪玩

思念像云朵般柔软

而你静静躺在我胸怀

我像是任性走失的小孩

紧紧抱着孤单

我们都曾经明白也都曾经遗憾

错过了爱就难以重来

不要害怕去坦白怕容易被你宠坏

忘了该与不该

到哪里找回真爱找回所有遗憾

爱的真相就能够解开

多给我一些片段拼凑未知的意外

失去记忆最初的爱

qing wa

2005-10-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

wang zi bian qing wa~~~

so cute....hahaha

if this fairytale can be true~~~ lalala~~~

betrayal sucks..

2005-10-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

After watching an episode of [my date with a vampire 3], i realised that not all friends can be trusted. In the show, the team betrayed one another, because all of them only wanted to save themselves. I was thinking, if there would be this dae, how would i react to this situation? I myself hav no idea too..hai...

The taste of betrayal is not good at all because i have tasted it once...and just once it's alreadi enough to kill me. The rumours, the "attraction" u get, the back-stabbing words, they are enough to just condemn u... and ppl actually believe it when it's not true... wth.. cant they ever think that it's untrue? why are some ppl so stupid?!

Some ppl- they actually feel that they're saints or ppl think that they're saints, but did it ever occur to them that they have also bad-mouthed ppl before? They don even noe it themselves... wth lor... still think they're so innocent, so angel-liked. I cant stand these kind of ppl the most.. who noes wat they are thinking abt in their minds? skali it's some evil plans that they are trying to plot... and one thing i realise is that those who betray their friends are actually those who pretend that they're so pure and nice and everything...

I realli wonder, before these ppl betray their friends, did they ever consider for their friends' feelings or they just hack care abt it? why cant they ever spare a thought for anyone? the feeling sucks... hai...

betrayal sucks...

2005-10-12T00:30:00.000+08:00

hai... after 2 days i wont be going to school anymore.. suddenly, i felt sad... i cant believe i'll actually feel sad that im leaving school soon. All along i have always been wishing that i'll leave this school asap, but now, i actually felt sad that i'm leaving it...hai...

i'll miss my teachers, especially mr kuek.

i'll miss my friends, especially qiao, kai xiang, min ru, all the co ppl, my juniors..hai...

i'll miss the school atmosphere, the lake, the cca block...

i'll miss all the times i've spent in this school....

i'll miss everything....

i cant bare to part with everything... but life has to move on and i'll not disappoint my teachers..

2005-10-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

here i am, typing an entry cause im so bored... hai... i actually realised that nearly the whole sec 4 cohord noe who am i.. scary.. haha.. i don like that...hai... then todae went for the Songs of the North concert..

Huang lao shi rocks man.. his playing=cool, good

haha

saw zhuo shi fu todae and another pipa shi fu from china.. he's like so young for his occupation, and he's shuai!! wahaha~~~

then zhuo shi fu introduced us(xue qi, me, raymond)... so good of him...haha...

Qin li wei

2005-10-07T23:34:00.000+08:00

Qin Li Wei rocks~~

His playing's so touching~~~

2005-10-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

omg.. i think i'm mad.. i actually think that mr kuek is quite cute... gosh wat was i thinking man..haha.. btw, xq, it's not the one u like hor..haha.. i wont fight with u wan...wahaha...

after seeing his photo, i actually thought that he's quite cute, hai but too bad if he still hav a better face complexion then that would be even better..haha..

this teacher ah... he's soooo fierce.. practically everyone i noe is scared of him cause when he's angry, he's like an erupting volcano..haha.. but he care for us the most too...haha.... thanks ah mr kuek.. we wont disappoint u for a maths... cheers!!!

sad...

2005-10-01T02:03:00.000+08:00

现在我才发现我其实感觉到痛

但我没有坦诚的去面对它

痛的感觉的确很难忍受

我要告诉我自己从现在开始不能再陷下去了。

my baby photo...

2005-09-27T14:15:00.000+08:00

ok after much anticipation, i finally uploaded my baby pic. isnt it cute? haha... anw i was being pestered my my dear friend, qd, to post it up.. are u happy now?haha...

gosh i think i look retarded in it..haha...

Gushing Strings..

2005-09-23T01:44:00.000+08:00

Todae went to watch the Gushing Strings concert with xue qi they all. I was looking forward to Yang Wei's pipa solo. haha... he's my idol and he's cute...wahaha

Anw, after the 'long' wait, which i myself think..haha.. here comes Yang Wei's solo... he played tian er and it rocks. It touched my heart.. how i wish i can play like him too..haha...but i think he should be more forceful in his playing... hai why does he wan to follow liu lao shi's playing in such an early age...haha.. but no matter wat, he rocks..haha

then after that, we went to get his signature... and i took a photo with him!! haha.. ok forgive me for being so high..haha...

邂逅的那天

2005-09-18T16:50:00.000+08:00

의외의 대회 일

광산 꿈안에 세계 모두에 고독한 사랑이

있기 때문에 너를 지금 나 안으로 기다리기

참을성이 있과 나눌 것이다 동일한 회상

이 지금 있기 위하여 너는 나의

심혼안에 넣어두지 않은 모든 장소 동일

한 시간 영속한다 생각하 어떤

것은i모두! 희망은 가까운에 너 돌려보

내 떨어져 눈물을 닦는 행복한

시간안에 아주 먼 장소안에 나의

몸을 이지 않 너는 뒤에 있어 너의를

있지 않는 어떤 고통을 광산 심혼안에

나가 너가 알고있은 뿐만 아니라 사람 이는

사랑을 체재해 있기 때문에 지금

나가 안으로 참을성이 있과 너 나의

측에 반환에게 나의 심혼안에 너에게

지금 맡기지 않은 모든

장소를 영속하는 너를 기다리기

Ruan concert

2005-09-17T01:56:00.000+08:00

Todae went to help out in Zhang lao shi's ruan concert.. soooo tired now, but it was very good. Everyone did their best in the concert... haha.. and todae was like a gathering for all the sco teachers. i saw so many of them todae.. like yu lao shi, guo lao shi, ye lao shi, qu lao shi, situ lao shi, xu lao shi etc... so many ppl were there todae. haha.. but it's so nice to see all of them gathering together..haha.

Then after that went to tcc with eug and yan yi. I realised that yan yi eat very slow and the two of us were like waiting for her..haha... and eug was laughing like that stupid peter in family guy. i "slapped" him...haha.... stupid boy..haha... then later went home with eug cause yan yi taking bus.. hai..

Todae went out real well, everyone enjoyed the concert and I think Zhang lao shi must be very happy...haha

나는 너를 사랑한다

2005-09-16T16:14:00.000+08:00

有你真好

这时候最能让我想起你

多希望你在这里

你总是愿意把你的手心借给我握紧

该往哪里

我总是依赖着你

你是我的方向感

我可以确定你会带着我朝对的方向前进

i'm thinking of you

我有你真好

你能让烦恼变得渺小

我遇见一个最懂我的人

我会提醒自己把这份爱收好

i'm thinking of you

我有你真好只要牵着你的手

就知道我不是一个人在这世界停靠

因为我拥有你在我心里

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!!!

2005-09-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

I am utterly disappointed with myself right now. I cant play propely, cant study properly, just cant do anything right. I'm just feeling inferior to everyone, esp in my pipa. All of my friends, they can at least play a full song out, I cant. I hate the feeling of losing. I've tasted it and hate it badly. It makes me so depressed. My teachers don understand me, no one does. They just think I'm a playful girl who can be serious with her playing only at points of time. I'm losing out to everyone i know. How hard i put in the effort of practising hard was not seen by my teachers. They just think that I'm not playing well. Sometimes I really feel like giving up cause it's stupid to waste my time and effort if no one sees and acknowledge it. This sucks totally... trying to stay positive? how to? i see wat i see... it makes me feel worse then ever. Maybe i should realli just give up, concentrate on my studies and go get a living and get away from music asap. It realli saddens me to hear the comments of wat my teachers say. I noe i'm competitive, and all my hopes are dashed just by one incident. So wat if i can console ppl? i cant console myself now!!! That's y i hate myself for being like that. My parents don understand me, my teachers don understand me, my friends don understand me... everyone doesn't. They dunno how I feel, dunno wat happened to me, dunno anything abt me. They just see the happy side of me, have they ever seen the sad side of me? NO!! they don even noe that i'm sad...

my feelings abt music~~~

2005-09-13T00:57:00.000+08:00

I feel that in my life, i owe many people favours. They taught me many things about life, pipa, music, relationships.Although i may not see them again, I must thank them for teaching me so many things and making me feel that I'm not as useless as I thought I am. Thanks xue qi, su hui, eugene, faisal, qiao die, jian min, jeh ni, yu lao shi, guo lao shi, chen lao shi. All of you have put sparkles in my life and helping me in all the possible ways that all of you can. Thank you very much.

I realised that we must understand the music and the flow of it, before we even start playing it. We must feel it in us, be in it, thus playing music that touches the hearts of people. We can't rush into things, esp playing music, must learn to enjoy in the midst of it, and learn as well. This would help us improve as we know the music--it's in our hearts. Like wat guo lao shi said once, we should learn the meaning of the song and wat the music is trying to express, thus playing it.

I also realised I have yet to come to the degree of trying to understand what i am playing. From the way i play, I only feel emptiness. I couldn't feel the feelings expressed by the song, I could only say---lack practice and experience. How I wish that I can be like my teacher one day, playing with the feelings that the song is supposed to express and in addition her own feelings of the song. I still haven master the technique of bringing out the dynamics in the song... hai...

And I have to say, only true friends would come to your help when you're feeling down. During this period of time, both of you( you know who you are) have shown and given me both emotional and physical support and helped me cross this hurdle. Thus, I must thank you both. You both have given me precious advice that I'll need for the rest of my life...

me...

2005-09-11T15:52:00.000+08:00

ok firstly, i hav no idea wat's happening to me... im just an ordinary girl going to meet my doom as my Os are nearing and im not the least afraid that im going to flung my prelims which is the coming week. hai.. so many things to do but so little time to finish it. Luckily i hav a group of friends who are always there for me when i need them.. phew.. haha.. thanks guys and gals... er for now like that..haha... cya